So often, and moreover during this year, we get the message that stress and anxiety are our ultimate enemies. And, to be healthy is to work to excise all anxiety symptoms from our lives.

But the thought of doing so can be itself a form of the purest stress, and potentially have a counterproductive effect within ourselves: Stress is a part of normal functioning, and our bodies are designed to manage it, according to Melbourne – based doctor and Psychiatry Resident, Dr. Keiran Kennedy.

Everyone has different ways to cope when anxiety rises or the pain of uncertainty sets in. The best stress – and worry-reducing strategies are often extensions of everyday practices and hobbies. Below, Dr Kennedy gives us a primer on signs of excess stress, and strategies for acknowledging.

Q&A with Dr. Keiran Kennedy, Medical Doctor and Psychiatry Resident

Q

How can we recognise stress signs within ourselves?

Stress is something we’re all well acquainted with. It’s something we all feel, but interesting it’s not something we all necessarily feel in the same way. Recognising when we’re feeling stressed and anxious is really important – because it’s from there that we can act to change not just the situation itself (where we can) but also how we’re feeling with it. Stress is technically defined as the set of mental and physical responses that come from a situation where our perceived ability to cope with expected demands is below what’s required.

Recognising the situations that bring us the most stress can be a great way to recognise when we might be stressed – it’ll be different for everyone, but common triggers are work demands, relationship issues, or when demands trigger insecurities around performance and self-worth. Taking some time to sit down and acknowledge WHEN you feel stressed can actually mean you’re more aware and ready for when it happens. Write these situations down, and practice actively acknowledging when we’re going into a situation that’s likely to get the stress gremlins can be a good way to give us the head start. 

Q

What about things to notice in yourself?

Just as situations that might trigger stress for us all can be different, so too can be the signs and symptoms of stress when it happens. Signs of stress, and how we feel it, are akin to subtle (and sometimes less subtle) forms of anxiety. The kicker here is that they’re not always easy to recognise, and can be mental, physical, or a combo of both. Common signs of stress from the mental side are feeling overwhelmed, irritable, emotionally fragile, apathetic, spaced out, and unable to focus or think.

Dissociation is when we feel somehow disconnected from ourselves or what’s going on around us, and subtle forms of this are actually really common stress responses. Physically, it’s common to feel tense, sweaty, hot, and “wound up”. Noticing a tight or turbulent stomach, an increased heart rate or shallow, quicker, breathing are other key signs.

Identifying your ‘anxiety tells’ is a key step in hitting back when it comes to stress and anxiety. Practising noticing when these signs are there is key to cluing in to what’s happening and then actioning something to curb them. Learn your ‘tells’ and when they’re there, remind yourself what there are and take a minute to take a breath or distract for a few minutes. 

Q

Is there any potential connection between medication and stress?

Several health conditions (physical and mental) and medications can cause symptoms or side effects that feel like stress or anxiety. If you’re feeling more stressed or anxious than usual, then a check-up with your GP or doctor to make sure things are physically ok (and to of course check in about your mental health) is always recommended. If changes in stress levels, anxiety or mental health coincides with starting, changing, or stopping a medication then this is always an indication to let your doctor know. 

Q

What’s the first step to approaching a friend or loved one who you’re concerned about?

The first step is always knowing that approaching it, asking, and communicating is a positive and very protective thing for that person. There’s been a long term myth floating around that we might make a situation worse for someone, or even increase their risk of suicide if we remind them about their struggles or ask them about concerns. This couldn’t be less true, and we now know that if we ask about these things that we actually increase that person’s chance of recovering and staying safe in a long way. 

Another important point is to take the pressure from yourself – a lot of people worry that they won’t know what to say, how to act, or how to ‘fix’ things for their loved ones. Our role here is to just be their friend, their family member, or their colleague. It’s enough to just ask and to just listen – and this can make a big difference. 

Q

How do you recommend bringing up such a tough subject?

There will always be a sense of worry and sometimes even awkwardness in brining up tough topics. Choosing this right moment can be important, and doing it in a time when you’re alone with the person and things there’s enough time/space to properly get into things can help. Many people (particularly those who find it tough to talk about emotions and feelings) can also benefit from having a bit of a “diffuser” in the middle – bringing the subject up in a more casual way while going for a walk, a drive, or even while doing the dishes can give a bit of a diffusing activity to do alongside that make it feel less confronting for both of you.

Always lead in with your care and concern, rather than immediately pointing out symptoms or behaviors. Asking what we call ‘open-ended questions’ can also help – ask a broad question that allows them to approach it how they’d like to start with. 

Q

How do you encourage people to get treatment if they’re apprehensive about seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist?

This can be a tricky one, and in many cases it’s about letting that person know that you care, you’re concerned and that you’re there to help support them in getting help in any way you can. Being vulnerable and open about your own struggles or points you’ve accessed support in the past can help someone else feel safer to do so, and offering to make the call for them, to book the appointment and even to go along for that first session can make a difference.

It can be helpful to engage someone in chatting about how things are right now compared to how they’d like them to be – weighing this up against the pros and cons to seeing someone professionally can help pivot motivation toward reaching out for help. 

If you have significant concerns about someone’s mental health and (particularly) their safety, there are times we do need to act on someone’s behalf. Calling a crisis line or emergency services if you have significant concerns can be a way to start the ball rolling on getting someone help when they might not be able to activate it themselves. 

Q

Are there any acute resources people should know about? Or other resources?

LifeLine (13 11 14) and Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636) can be good places to start when it comes to getting advice and input for ourselves or for someone we’re worried about. From here people will be able to get further advice about whether more acute or urgent input is needed. 

In times of significant need or crisis, contacting your local mental health crisis service (google your area/neighborhood name + ‘mental health’) or emergency services (000) should never be put off. If someone is acutely at risk to themselves or those around them then calling emergency services needs to be actioning in just the same way we would for a life-threatening and acute physical health condition.